She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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