She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
