Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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