I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
