Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
