Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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