i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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