i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just gift wrapped bread.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
