Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
