That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
