I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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