break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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