what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
