that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Randomize
