It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize