I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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