Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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