DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
