whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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