Please, let me fuck your mom
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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