We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
