Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
they're like a gay fantastic four
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
