i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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