like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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