Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
