This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Text me some of your sweat
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
