I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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