Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My vagina is very pro this idea
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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