For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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