i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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