I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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