its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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