fuck your aforementioned shoe
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
