you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Couch. On fire.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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