If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
