At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize