I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Life is so much better after having sex.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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