alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
