All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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