you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
