wat bout pragnant strippers??
My hand turned me down
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
