Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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