He told me they were just razor bumps!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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