I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
