Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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