Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
