I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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