weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
no more duck duck goose at the bar
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
