elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My feet surprised me
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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