the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize