I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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