Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I've blown a few things in my day
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
