oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize