Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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