Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
