My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
