we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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