doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
