you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
