I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
