So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
