I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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