We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
