I just cut my nipple shaving
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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